United We Stand, Divided We Bawl
by No One Reads Bad Fanfics
Summary: They came together against a common enemy. The ongoing threat of Nate and Blair was becoming too much. And, really, what were they, anyway? Dating? No. Friends? Maybe. Secret lovers? Hell yeah! Chuck/Serena, Nate/Blair, bitter Chuck/Blair and Nate/Serena
1. Chapter 1

**United We Stand, Divided We Bawl**

**Story Summary:** They came together against a common enemy. The ongoing threat of Nate and Blair was becoming too much. And, really, what were they, anyway? Dating? No. Friends? Maybe. Fuck buddies? Hell yeah! CS - platonic and now - NB, DS, bitter CB and NS

**Author's Starting Notes:** This won't be a traditional story, let me tell you that right now. It's kind of scatter brained at this point but I have a plot and a nice bit of the next chapter written if this goes over well.

**Chapter Summary/Intro:** Just a bad introduction to what I believe will be a blur of everything we love about ChuckSerena, ChuckBlair, and Serena van der Woodsen, all rolled into one.

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**Chapter One:**

_Good morning Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Top story on my homepage is all that matters this month. We banished Queen B from the castle back in January for being a whore, but we didn't even take into account the other OR involved. Until now that is. Best friends have always been the under dogs, but only two BFs really know how to play dirty. Green is this season's black, UG boots are officially short for ugly, and incest is all the rage, at least, in the van der Bass house it is. How would I know, you ask? Let's just say, that bed was creaking all night long. Too bad there were no cameras. They could have been stars. Then again, why be one when Bart can make you see them? A little anger management is in order but I think a little white bag will be the only counseling the Bass boys will take, again and again. But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's really far too much to say in one sit down. I think I need a breath of fresh air, maybe let them stir a bit, they can think on good times, like having sex in the infamous limo. Don't know who I'm talking about? Here's a hint: B wasn't the only one riding while rolling down the highway._

_-Gossip Girl_

* * *

  
One text message was all it took to bring back the memories that dwelled so deep in the minds of two of Manhattan's most famous wild children. They were together when it was sent out but not in the way you'd think. They were speaking to their parents and confessing. Apparently, instead of all the crap they had previously done, all they needed to do was show Bart and Lily the blog of the biggest gossip addict in America. Everyone on the Upper East Side wanted to know when it started and what was happening, but only five people would know. Chuck, Lily, Bart, Serena, and Eric. Chuck was first to speak.

"This really all started back when the only chance of hope and happiness burned to the ground in a horribly, fluffy, surreal nuclear bomb," he said

"In other words, it started the day Nate and Blair announced their mutual adoration. It was… a dark day on the Upper East Side," Serena said

"It was also an orange day, and a blurry day, which was followed by a hazy week, and some other shit no one cares about," he said

"Can you two just get on with the story?" asked the impatient Bart

"Sure, but you might want to take a seat, it's a long one," Chuck said diving straight into the tale of the year, how Chuck Bass and Serena van der Woodsen went from enemies to estranged lovers.

"We've decided to become a real couple," Nate said gripping Blair's hands affectionately. It had been only a week since the two had decided to truly be boyfriend and girlfriend. All their lives they'd basically been together but they had just made it official. They had matching wrist wear. Of course hers was a stylish bracelet and his was something manly enough for him to actually wear in public but they did symbolize togetherness. Blair was so intent upon telling Serena and Nate was so psyched to tell Chuck, that they didn't even think of how much it would hurt their friends.

Serena looked between the two of them just waiting, hoping for one of them to laugh, or say _"Gotcha!"_, but it never came. She watched them as they sent each other helpful smiles and secretive ones too. She wanted to hurl. To scream, cry, anything but sit there and try to be supportive of a relationship she obviously didn't like. It was too much. Blair was her best friend, she loved her, really, but how could she possibly entertain the concept of Blair Waldorf, the less pretty brunette, being with her one true love, the ever popular and handsome, Nathaniel Archibald? Nate was hers. Nate had been on her radar far before Blair even came into the picture. Of course, Blair had been there at orientation for kindergarten the same as she but she was the one who sat with Nate and gave him her animal crackers. Well, actually, she gave him the ones she took from Chuck but that was beside the point. She couldn't let _them_ happen. They weren't meant to be. They just weren't.

Chuck, oddly enough, was the silent one, who sat with his eye twitching unnoticeably underneath the hair he had grown out specifically for Blair. Blair loved the rebellious, skater type look of lengthy hair. She had told him herself and he had let his hair grow out, ignoring his father (like he didn't do that already) and occasionally, his grandmother. But he didn't want to be the quiet one with the scarf and clenched fists any longer. He just wanted a knife, a knife he could stab deep in Nate's shoulder. Not deep enough to kill him, just deep enough to show him that Blair was his. He could never, ever like the idea of Nate and Blair as a couple. They were put together regularly in sentences but usually with Chuck and Serena there as well. Suddenly, they'd become 'Nate and Blair' and he would be left with no one but the annoying blonde with the sunny disposition. He was Chuck Bass. He was Charles Malcolm Bass and there was no way he'd ever let anyone take away his girl. They'd have to tie him up, backwards, on a train track before he even considered possibly saying-

"I'm so happy for you," Chuck said trying his hardest not to grit his teeth. Nate seemed to sigh in relief but Blair kept in her breath as she looked at Serena's still face.

"Um, yeah, what he said," mumbled the girl as she blinked her eyes rapidly. The golden couple didn't notice, Chuck did. He knew why she was closing her eyes. She must have been feeling it too. That desire to explode with all these emotions and the craving to destroy the one thing that brought it on. As the happy duo went on with their reasoning, Chuck kept on thinking about Serena, her feelings, and all the evil they could do. They were two dastardly devious devils, who knew how much havoc they could wreak on one little insignificant group? He wasn't quite sure but he was about to find out.

* * *

"Let me get this right, Bass," Serena began fixing her Eagle Prep skirt t slightly, "You want me to betray the trust of my best friend of seven years and her new beau simply because you feel jealous of the passion they share?"

"No," Chuck said straightening his posture and meeting her gaze head on, "I want you to sabotage the unnecessary and completely revolting relationship of two people of whom we both desire,"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Serena said glancing around nervously

"Yes you do, don't play dumb, van der Woodsen. You have a thing for Nate. It's obvious. Anyone with eyes other than those two idiots can see it. Just be a good little home wrecking bitch and destroy the royal union,"

"Royal union?" she repeated, her tone clearly showing how she felt about the topic, "Chuck, they're our best friends. We could never do anything to hurt them,"

"We're not hurting them," he insisted yet again for it was imperative he had her help, "We're only enlightening them on the damage they are doing to each other,"

"But wouldn't our ways to enlighten be the damage? So, we're showing them what we're doing to break them up. Chuck, you make no sense and there is no way I will help you," Serena said

"You know, when they break up, Nate's gonna need a shoulder to cry on. You could be that shoulder, you could be the next girl he falls for; you could be Mrs. Serena Archibald. You like the ring of that, don't you?"

"Not as much as the ring of Mrs. Chuck Waldorf, because in that relationship, you would always be the bitch,"

"As long as I'm a hot bitch, I'm fine. But will you be while you mope about what could have been as your undeserving BFF relaxes and rides your man?"

"Rides?"

"Oh, yeah, when they get older, they'll be having hot, kinky sex. They're gonna be like those crazy people who came to our health class last week promoting abstinence when everyone knows they're banging each other in the faculty bathroom whenever they aren't up there,"

"Chuck, you're in the eighth grade, you shouldn't know what banging, riding, or hot, kinky sex is," Serena said

"And you're in eighth grade, you shouldn't let the fear to hurt one person's feelings affect the lives of countless others," Chuck said

"If I agree to help you in this half ass scheme, will you leave me alone?" Serena said

"Yes, I will," Chuck said

"Fine, I'm in. But this is to be strictly professional," Serena said

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, now, why don't we discuss our plans over a nice, cold glass of my father's most expensive wine?" he asked

"Why would we do that?" she asked

"Because it tastes like honey and costs more than the ugly matching bracelets Team Stupid is sporting," he said. He knew she'd agree, that was why he was already taking out the cork when she walked into the kitchen. He poured them each a glass of the fancy, blood colored liquid and was surprised at how quickly she drank it. She guzzled down the drink like she was dying of thirst. Not to be outshone, he drank his glass as fast as she did. With the both of them, the entire bottle was gone in less than thirty minutes.

"You know," slurred Chuck hoisting himself from his comfortable spot on the ground with the empty bottle, "They say the more expensive, the more alcohol is involved,"

"They also say the less you should drink," Serena said

"I say, fuck that," Chuck said

"I say… fuck Nate," she said

"Yes, I'm sure you'd love that," he drawled

"I'm only thirteen, Chuck. I'm gonna wait. Until I'm older,"

"Is next week old enough because I think I can have them done by then?"

"You're a pig,"

"Yup!"

"Truth be told, I never did like you,"

"Well, I hated you,"

"I loathed your very soul,"

"I… I… we should make out!"

"No, Chuck. I don't trust you right now. I'm gonna call my car," she said fumbling with her purse for the cell phone she always had with her but never really could locate. By the time she had found her phone, Chuck was already sprawled lazily on the cream sofa in the family room. She walked in and before she could even begin to dial the number, she could feel the alcohol bubbling inside of her. She turned and ran into the closest room heaving the liquor out of her system. She involuntarily repeated the process three times before she got a chance to see where she was. Big, leather chair, nice, wood desk, and picture of Sarah Bass on the wall, she felt like she could throw up again. She had just changed the color scheme of the carpet in Bart Bass' private office. She was so dead.

"Ooh, my dad is going to kill you," Chuck said, his eyes wide as he saw the giant orange stain in the center of the room.

"Think he really will?" Serena asked

"Let's just say, if I were you, I'd be calling my car and joining the witness protection program," Chuck said

"I'm sure it's not that bad," Serena said. Chuck gave her a look that she obviously understood and she started dialing right away. She was gone in ten minutes flat and Chuck, who wasn't really that wasted anyway, started trying to clean up the mess. His father was due home any minute. In fact, Bart had been due home a week and a half prior but something in his bones told him his dad would come that day. His bones were right. He had made the stain just a bit more peach colored when the front door opened and Daddy Bass walked in. He called for his son before finding him in this private office cleaning a spot of barf off the carpet. The luggage in his hands hit the ground but the thing that really hit were Bart's fists in Chuck's gut. Chuck didn't resist or try to explain, it'd be a fruitless effort. The beating went on for a few minutes before Bart seemed to grow bored of his unresponsive son. When Bart left, Chuck rolled onto his side and clutched his throbbing stomach. He lay there silently for a while before he worked up the strength to say only two words. Whether it was directed at Bart, Serena, the approaching darkness, or just the world in general, they were never too sure. But he said it, clear as day through his busted red lip.

"Fuck… you,"

-

©forbiddenfiction. While everything above was written by myself, the characters, the world they live in, and anything related do not belong to me. Gossip Girl is not my creation but this plot, yeah, I own that. That's about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**United We Stand, Divided We Bawl**

**Story Summary:** They came together against a common enemy. The ongoing threat of Nate and Blair was becoming too much. And, really, what were they, anyway? Dating? No. Friends? Maybe. Fuck buddies? Hell yeah! CS - platonic and now - NB, DS, bitter CB and NS

**

* * *

Author's Starting Notes:** This is definitely not my best work. I found this chapter while looking through some old sticky notes on my Mac. I really wanted to post something, so, I made a few minor changes and called it a day. The next chapter shouldn't take as long as I think I might just be able to find my way back on track now. My writing will probably look ridiculously different in this chapter and the next - sentence structure wise. Keep in mind this was written like early this year, late last one.

-

**Chapter Summary/Intro:** This chapter picks up a week past where the last one left off.

**

* * *

Chapter Two:**

Hospitals stunk. It was pretty much a proven fact. Every room was white; every person was pitying; and all the food tasted like it came out of a pig's backside. Chuck Bass had been in the hospital for a week after "clumsily falling down the damn stairs again", and the most he had managed to do was memorize the 2,569 dots that littered his vision. Gosh, he hated hospitals.

The door opened and in she walked yet again. She was the reason he was lying there day after day getting shots and medicine in his jello. He felt like a poor person with the way he was treated in that dump. Her visits every day weren't helping either.

"Must you come again?" Chuck asked even though having some company wasn't exactly _that_ bad.

"How are you today, Bass?" Serena asked sitting on the edge of the bed. She was sure he was about to get all sassy again because that was just what he did. If it weren't for the fact that she was responsible for him being there, she wouldn't even come to talk to him. Not having anyone other than him worth talking to helped speed up her visits too.

"Well, let's see, they gave me the damn jello again. I swear, if that strawberry crap comes in with that grape goop, I will have my father sue this place," Chuck said

"Chuck, you can't sue because they're trying to keep you healthy," Serena said

"If they wanted to keep me healthy, they might as well just take me away from that bastard they call my father," Chuck said bitterly

"If you hate him so much, why don't you just turn him in? You have enough evidence to get him put away," she said

"But then I'd be moved to California to be with my mom,"

"You love your mom,"

"That doesn't mean I want to live in a porn studio,"

"Porn studio?"

"Yeah, all she does is meet guys, talk to guys, and sleep with guys with cameras in the background for when she doesn't know any guys. It'd be like I didn't exist. I'd be able to do whatever I wanted to do with absolutely no repercussions, could hang out with people, spend money, do anything I wanted to… maybe ratting out my dad wouldn't be so bad,"

She giggled.

"You are unbelievable," she said, he raised an eyebrow, "You are always joking around. Have you ever been serious about anything?"

"Not that I can recall," he said honestly and she laughed again, that time he cracked a smile, "If I didn't know any better, van der Woodsen, I'd say you're actually enjoying talking to me. And this time you're not drunk,"

"Please don't remind me. I had such a hangover the next morning,"

"Imagine mine," he said trying to joke again. She took it as a bad sign and went silent.

"I'm really sorry," she said

"Don't be, I'm sure Bart would have found some reason to come after me even without the giant orange dot in his carpet," he said

"But I made him come sooner… I shouldn't have thrown up in there,"

"You couldn't find the bathroom,"

"I should have found a better place,"

"You were drunk,"

"I shouldn't have been drinking,"

"I gave you the alcohol. Gosh, Serena, can't you see this was my fault? Stop killing yourself over it and move on!"

"Fine, I'll completely ignore the fact that I sent you to the hospital indirectly,"

"That is all I ask,"

"Hey, when do you get out of here?"

"Tomorrow, I was supposed to leave today, but Daddy Dearest was gone. Turns out, doctors don't trust some random crackpot driver to get people home safely,"

"Yet they trust your dad?" she asked confusedly

"My point exactly," he said shaking his head lightly, "Hey, has Blair come to see me?"

Serena looked at his hopeful face trying so hard not to note it. Whenever he was talking about _her_, he looked happy, blissful even, did she really want to tell him that other than her and the medical staff no one had seen him in over a week? Better question would she tell him?

"Um, yeah, her and Nate stopped by…. They had to leave quickly though, you know them always out seizing the day, or night."

She gave him a weak smile and he returned it a little unenthusiastically. He obviously didn't believe her.

"I don't know why I expected her to," he said, his voice weak with an emotion that Serena didn't even know he could feel, "I kind of just hoped she'd at least be able to separate herself from him long enough to care that I was gone. I had always been there for her…. Forget it, it's not important."

He looked away dejectedly. For some reason, Serena felt obligated to comfort him. She scooted up further on the bed and placed her hand on his arm.

"Chuck, you know Blair loves you, right?"

"Loves me enough to forget I'm in a hospital on my death bed?"

"You're not dying, Chuck."

"I could be! Waldorf women suck."

"Actually, they don't, too reminiscent of another age."

"Did you really just say that?" Chuck asked indigently. Serena shrugged.

"Eleanor said it before in one of her heated Waldorf meltdowns. It was priceless," Serena explained

"I think I'd be scarred for life if I heard Eleanor Waldorf talking about her sex life," Chuck said

"Trust me, it does do some damage. I can't look at pudding without shivering now," Serena told him

"You're joking," Chuck said without any hint of question

"Only about the pudding thing. I do get queasy when I think about it though," Serena said

"What did she say about the pudding?" Chuck asked

"Just all the weird things she had done right after Blair was born to feel sexy," Serena said. Chuck grimaced.

"I think I would have rather not known that," Chuck said

"Rather not known what?" Bart asked walking into the room. Both teens grew stiff.

"About lunch, Father. What they had in school today seemed to be a weird casserole of sorts. She desacribed the taste to me," Chuck responded quickly. Bart looked at Serena for a moment.

"I'll make a call," he said

"So, uh, Mr. Bass, this whole Chuck in the hospital thing is awkward, isn't it?" Serena asked.

Bart nodded.

"Of course it is. He's a strapping young lad, should not be falling down stairs so often," Bart replied

"Was there something you wanted, Father?" Chuck asked

"Yes, I was going to tell you about a new idea I've come up with. Because our home seems to have so many stairs, I'll move you into a suite in the Palace, that way you can just take an elevator all the time," Bart said. Serena smiled at the idea.

"That's a great idea, Mr. Bass," she gushed. He nodded as if her approval was all the recognition he needed. He turned from the two teens to leave the room. He paused right before the door to send a small farewell to his son then left. Serena continued smiling.

"That's nice of him," Serena said obliviously. Chuck scoffed.

"He's trying to get rid of me. I'm not surprised. He's been trying to do it ever since I was born," Chuck said

"He has not," Serena defended

"You weren't the one sleeping in a hospital nursery a week beyond what was allowed because your father was on a business trip," Chuck said

"What about your mom? Why didn't she take you out?" Serena asked, Chuck looked down.

"I don't want to talk about it," he told her. She watched him curiously. There was something he obviously never told her. Maybe even something he never told anyone. She knew that if he would ever tell anyone, it definitely wouldn't be her. It would be Blair, or Nate, or a therapist. Just not her. For some reason that thought was unsettling.

"Um, sure, why don't we talk about something else then?" she proposed

"Got any ideas?"

"Not a one, but I'm sure we can think of something. We're together in this, right?"

"In what?" he asked, she shrugged

"The shadows of the golden love, life, you name it."

"Whoa, Blondie goes pessimistic. Never thought I'd see the day," he joked

"And I never thought I'd see the day where you and I would get along," she said

"We kind of have to. We really are stuck together. Can you imagine the couple love we'll be forced to deal with from here on?" he asked

"Yes, I can. I'm the third wheel these days, Chuck. Get well soon," she said

"I'll try," he said. She nodded, accepting his answer.

A nurse knocked on the door outside and pointed to her watch. Serena sighed. It was time for her to go. She looked to Chuck who seemed to have drawn back a bit more at the sight of the nurse. She gave him a weak smile. He returned it. Before she knew what was happening, she was leaning over and placing a kiss on his cheek. The feel of his skin jolted her to reality and she withdrew quickly. He smirked smugly at her confused expression.

"I have that effect on all the ladies," he told her. She rolled her eyes.

"Just get out of that bed and get back to school," Serena ordered.

"I'll think about it," he said. She shook her head, and left. Once the doors closed fully, Chuck nestled himself back into the covers. He wondered if he could get his dad to make him a room here instead. Serena couldn't be the only girl to like the sick boy thing after all.

* * *

©Dezi. While I wrote everything above, the basis for it does not belong to me. I don't own Gossip Girl, The Upper East Side, or its characters. I only own the strange universe that I have placed them in.


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